2 things that have made me see things differently


Hello everyone

I know I don’t do this a lot and I never really know how to start so I’m just gonna go ahead and say stuff…

Recently, with it being January and all, I’ve found myself reflecting on last year, as you do. I’ve realised that last year was pretty big for me, but it went by so lightning quick that I never had a chance to stop and look at all the stuff that has happened or how it affected me.

So, the first thing is I’ve dealt with losing a friend, I’d rather not say how as I’m still to this day bewildered about it. He wasn’t a long-time friend or anything but it was one of those relationships that flourish very fast when you meet someone and instantly hit it off, that kind of thing.
That happening has really made me try and keep in contact with people more. You know how it is, especially now in the social media age when we can just scroll down a news feed to see what our friends are doing instead of actually sending a text or going out for a drink; you sometimes overlook how important it is to actually talk to someone. A “like” on their picture will never be the same as a call asking how they’re doing. Even a nice comment won’t be the same as laughing about it over a beer or whatever. It’s easy to forget that nowadays.

A “like” on their picture will never be the same as a call asking how they’re doing. Even a nice comment won’t be the same as laughing about it over a beer.

It’s easy to forget that nowadays.
Isn’t it funny how, in this day and age, when we can pretty much talk to anyone in the world in an instant, we choose not to. I kind of hate how anti-social social media has made everyone (there’s a joke in there somewhere), and that’s coming from one of the most socially awkward people ever. But I do miss talking to people and I hate that something so big had to happen to make me see this. Hopefully, you can learn from my mistake.

Talk to your friends more, you never know when they’ll be gone and you’ll wish you’ve done more. A “re-tweet” will never be the same as a hug.

Also, what goes around comes around, chances are if you reach out more often, they will too.

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The second big thing that happened last year was me falling out with one of my oldest friends. Again no details necessary, but, after all was said and done I found myself feeling very alone. Even when I was surrounded by people I loved, I still felt somehow hollow. This was painful at first but then I started to realise that I now have to actually believe in my own decisions. I know, that sounds odd, but let me explain.
She was also a creative, like me and I’d always tell her about ideas and shoots and it would mean a lot when she’d say “yeah go for it!”. For those of you out there who have both friends in the creative industry and not, you probably agree that you value an opinion from a person in the same industry maybe a bit more than someone who’s not. It’s natural! If you asked both a lawyer and a painter for legal advice, you’d tend to believe the lawyer!
But all of a sudden she wasn’t there anymore and I had to trust that what I wanted to do would be good. That was so scary at first, I felt a bit like Bambi walking on ice.
But then, things started to work out. Like Tetris pieces falling into place. Sure there were projects I wasn’t 100% happy with but that’s completely fine! It’s not the end of the world, you can always try again!
What I’m trying to say is that because of this separation, I was somehow able to find my path. I’m still sad that something like that had to happen but that’s life I suppose, you have to learn from things and move on.

We’re all constantly influenced by other people in the industry and without realising we might do things, not because we want to, but because we see X or Z doing them, and they’re successful, so we might think “Hey this is working for them! Maybe I should do it too!”

Now here’s my little piece of advice – Please DON’T!
Just because it’s working for them doesn’t mean it will work for you.

You have to do it because you truly believe in it. Again I learned this, kind of the hard way. I’d try various kinds of photography and after a while I’d lose interest, or it would start to frustrate me and I’d think “why is this happening? I love what I do! What’s going wrong?”. I know now that’s because THEY WEREN’T THE RIGHT THINGS FOR ME!
Everyone has their own path in life and you’re not going to find it by following X, Y or Z. Do things because they feel right to you.

Don’t define success as popularity or money, they can be as fleeting as weekends for someone who hates their job.

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Make success that feeling of happiness and peace in your heart when you do something right. When you’re doing a job and you feel like that, that’s when it’s right!
Have faith in your decisions. And if you’re wrong, that’s ok! You’ve not failed, you’ve learned something new. There’s no way to move forward without making mistakes.

No one can be quite as good at being you as you are.

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Comments (2)

  1. Anon2

    Why all the BS, I’d ask? Your way, my way, any way. You did well, that’s a good thing. Other people, whether they follow their own “path” or yours, are entitled to fuck up, to do things however life goes for them; some won’t do too well, others will.

    It is how it is, there’s plenty to learn indeed and so many people keen to preach.

    Reply
    • Raluca Save

      I’m very unsure as to what you’re trying to say. I’m not preaching if that’s what you mean, I’m just expressing myself, hoping it will help others :)

      Reply